How to feel like a sophisticated human being

Sometimes, I remember that technically I’m an adult. Like a fully functioning adult with jobs and responsibilities.

Then I watch helplessly as my burrito filling falls onto the table, and realise that it’s a nice representation of how I’m dealing with adulthood right now. It looks okay but really its just a mess with everything falling out a little bit a time. Little bit grim and terrible but alas, I have come to the conclusion that every adult is a burrito. Everyone is faking it. Everyone.

Okay maybe not everyone but when you still feel like your stuck in 2010 you need to think these things to get you through the day. Adulthood is ultimately a myth and I may only be nineteen but I have had to conquer adult tasks like laundry, talking to an estate agent, buying light bulbs, and paying a lot of money to end up in some serious debt when I’m older.

When I was younger I thought this would feel differently, I’m not entirely sure how but I still feel about 15. However, let me tell you, there are tricks to making you feel older. Here’s a list of what I’ve discovered makes me feel capable and deserving of the vote.

1. Polo neck jumpers. 
Oh boy, a good high neck does wonders for the confidence. The sophistication that washes over your body once that material touches and, more importantly, stays on your neck is unimaginable. I can do ANYTHING wearing a good high neck shirt. Write an important email? Done. Plan important things? Done. Fill out a very important application? Done. Kill a man? Done. Okay maybe not the last one. Basically high necks equals high achievement.

2. Tea.
I’m not talking about your classic brew, oh no, I’m talking herbal tea. Now I’m not entirely sure of the health benefits or whether they are actually reliable but drink a herbal concoction in a mug and BAHM the day is yours. You are looking after yourself, hydrating your body and giving it the nutrients it deserves. Struggling to sleep? Drink chamomile tea. Does it actually relax you? I have no idea but I drink it before bed anyway.

3. Doing multiple adult things in one day.
Have you done the laundry? Have you done your weekly shop? All in the space of 24 hours? Well give yourself a gold star because you have achieved things today. You deserve that feeling of domestication and adulthood. You have proved you can clean your material possessions and feed yourself.

4. Fancy Coffee
Nothing scares me more than ordering something new at a coffee shop. Or going to a new coffee shop is enough to send me into anxiety over drive. Just let me go to Costa okay, I know what I want and I know how to say the unnecessarily fancy name. Or you can force me into Starbucks and make me order something I think want but I really have no clue what I just ordered and panicked unnecessarily when the barista asked for my name. Despite the anxiety ridden order, do you want to know the feeling I felt walking out of that store? Immense pride. Yeah, not only did I order my drink, but I also did it successfully. I can navigate this world. I am a successful human. I am also someone who will now order the same drink for months because who needs the stress? I just want a drink not a heart attack.

5. Tupperware
This basically boils down to making multiple meals in one go. Tupperware has never been so important to me until this year. If I didn’t have the 20 boxes I own where would I put my lasagna? My Shepherds pie? My chili con carne? WHERE? I would basically starve and never have delicious food. Maybe this is a little dramatic but seriously, nothing is more satisfying than looking in your freezer and seeing all those meals you cooked successfully, like a real adult.

Revision is driving me crazy, and this post is the outcome of it. First year of university is almost over and I can’t quite believe it. I don’t think I’ll ever be one of those real adults that can master life properly but I can wear a high neck shirt and definitely feel like one.

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