Wow Megan, calm yourself down.
But the title is kind of true to my situation right now. This week, has been both amazing and terrible.
Before I start, I was going to write about 1984 by George Orwell today, because yes, I have finally read it. But instead, life interrupted and got in the way. I will probably write about 1984 soon though. So watch out for that, I guess.
Okay, so back to the ‘broken laptops and revived dreams’ situation I have going on.
I’ll start with the terrible thing: On Saturday, my laptop decided to be real cool and break – mid writing a history essay. Whilst it was still usable, I didn’t particularly enjoy using a laptop with a crooked screen (I mean I have bad eyesight at the best of times), so my laptop has left my arms and has traveled somewhere to be fixed. Before you start with the whole “typical teenager speech, can’t live without the internet” speech, stop. I can easily connect to the internet with my phone or ipod. That isn’t an issue. What is an issue is the fact I have limited opportunity to write – whether it be school essays or blogging. It’s coursework and UCAS season at school, which means I have to do everything at school. I pretty much only do my essays at home because I find it easier to concentrate and focus when there is no around me (which is impossible at school). The UCAS situation is even more worrying because half the computers at school don’t even load UCAS properly. So basically I’m in a never ending spiral of “what am I going to do?!”
You’re probably wondering how I’m typing this. Well I’m using a tiny, tiny laptop which the rest of the world calls a Notebook. First of all, I would like to actually hurt the person who invented this machine, mainly because it is so difficult to type like a normal human being. So think of me, when you’re using your normal sized keyboard. I’ll be the one crying in the corner because I can’t type my biology essay properly. Yeah, when you get to A Level biology you have to write essays. Essays for science, who knew?
Enough of me complaining and what not, back to the whole “revived dreams”. Well, my dreams weren’t revived exactly, but they seem more possible now. The dreams I’m talking about? Well it’s just one dream. Or is it an ambition? Basically, next year, I want to study History and English at university. The only issue is that every university I look at wants triple A grades. Whilst I have faith in myself I may achieve this in the summer (or at least I’m sincerely hoping I do), my AS Level grade for English was a B. Yes I know that for most people this is a fantastic result, and I’m not trying to say it’s a terrible grade or anything like that. However, for me, this grade was disappointing because I had aimed for an A, and I knew I could get an A. So when I realised I was only 5 marks away from an A, I was more annoyed with myself because I would have to resit the exam for five stupid marks.
I never did listen to my teachers when they said a few marks would be the difference between grades.
So thankfully, my English teacher suggested remarking the exam. Whilst this has it dangers of it being marked lower, I truly did not care because I wanted that A so badly. Probably a dangerous attitude, but I’ll live with it. It took about a month for the paper to be remarked and somehow, the exam board gave me 7 more marks. SEVEN. If you’ve taken exams and what not, you’ll understand that 7 marks is a lot. So now I have an A in English (yay), but it’s actually caused me more worries. If anything I expected a few marks extra or lower (two or three, but I needed about five so I wasn’t hopeful), but to give me seven suggests it wasn’t marked correctly in the first place. How can we trust our grades on results day if this happens? If I had received the original result this year, I potentially wouldn’t have gotten in to university.
I suppose I should just except the fact that essay marking is subjective and may potentially ruin my future.
Wow nice thought to end this blog post on, Megan.
When did I start referring to myself in third person?
I’ll make this more cheerful. It’s now Autumn and Autumn is great. I’ve already started wearing my boots and scarves.
Also, my friend Charlea writes a fab blog here and I’ve been loving her blog recently. She writes really intelligent posts, plus she also writes for The Indiependent (in fact she introduced me to the Indiependent really so now you HAVE to go look at her blog and follow her). Yeah, go look at Charlea’s blog if you like great things.
Okay I need to go write essays and learn how to type.